RevRomansky Blogtown

Unfathomable Love of Jesus Christ

“I’m Sorry”-Why Do Women Say It?

Rev.Wm.J.Romansky OM BRE

“We are not so smart as He is dumb.”

  • But Zelophehad, the son of Hepher, the son of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, had no sons, but daughters: and these are the names of his daughters, Mahlah, and Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah.  And they came near before Eleazar the priest, and before Joshua the son of Nun, and before the princes, saying, The LORD commanded Moses to give us an inheritance among our brethren. Therefore according to the commandment of the LORD he gave them an inheritance among the brethren of their father.  And there fell ten portions to Manasseh, beside the land of Gilead and Bashan, which were on the other side Jordan; because the daughters of Manasseh had an inheritance among his sons: and the rest of Manasseh’s sons had the land of Gilead. Joshua 17:3-6 KJV


  • I’ve worked in predominately female vocations, and can’t tell you how many times a female coworker has said “I’m sorry” for just doing their job.  I might’ve been surfing the net for no reason in particular, but if a woman had to bump me from our shared computer for work-related activities, she’d say “I’m sorry”.  And I can’t tell you how often my beautiful wife has set a perfect dinner in front of me and apologized for some miniscule imperfection I didn’t even notice.  How can she be sorry for such a great Italian meal?


  • On the other hand, a man will only say “I’m sorry” as often as he’s determined he’s committed an infraction, and not one single time more.  But women often say “I’m sorry” for no apparent reason, and say it in such a way as to portray a deep and personal regret.  Is it a generally bad self image among women that begins during their childhood?  Is it the result of a world rampant with neglect, abuse, and disregard toward women?  As children, many men are neglected and abused as well, but we generally don’t apologize unless we pragmatically judge ourselves as being truly in the wrong.  Something a lot deeper than just having a bad day is behind the constant apologizing that women tend to do.


  • While reading Joshua’s account of Zelophehad’s daughters, we find no such apology, no “I’m sorry” preceding their demand for the inheritance given to them by the Lord.  We can imagine them coming before the council of the priest, Joshua, and the princes of Israel, demanding the land that would normally go to male heirs.  We don’t know the background of these bold women, but we know their positive attitude did not come from self-actualization, self-empowerment, or self-realization.  All of the “self” centered fixes to women’s deep seated spiritual issues are ineffective.  They will not gain any woman the spiritual stature we all desire, but that women seem to struggle with much more than we men.


  • The daughters of Zelphehad were truly empowered by the inheritance of the LORD!  They had an inheritance among the sons of Israel.  What does this mean to the many women who go through life apologizing for the good they do, for the service they provide, for the nurturing and blessing they give to their families, friends, and the rest of the world?  


  • Here it is, and it’s simple.  No need to say “I’m sorry” anymore.  No more apologizing.  Contrary to the general revisionist belief that Jesus only freed women from the burden of second class citizenry in the New Testament, we find that the Lord’s attitude toward women preceding the New Testament is one of full acceptance as a “son”, that is, one with full rights and responsibilities in His kingdom.  Women’s being a joint heir with Christ preceded His arrival here on earth.  Under Mosaic Law, which feminists have painted as misogynistic and negatively patriarchal, we find Joshua viewing women as equal to men toward matters of inheritance and promise.  


  • An interesting caveat here.  These women demanded their inheritance.  They didn’t apologize, didn’t say “I’m sorry”, didn’t need the representation of their father.  They didn’t need to break free from male domination.  Their was no glass ceiling.  They simply realized that the land was theirs, the blessing was theirs, and they effectively presented their case before the council. 

       And they didn’t say “I’m sorry”.


(You can email RevRomansky at

©2008 Rev.Wm.J.Romansky



September 17, 2008 - Posted by | atheism, atheist, christian, christianity, Commentary, faith, islam, philosophy, politics, quran, religion, Uncategorized


  1. Excellent, never quite thought of it like that.

    Comment by Oleg | September 17, 2008 | Reply

  2. Saying “I’m sorry” for every movement I make is engrained into my being – maybe just being female evokes the “I’m sorry” or maybe a need to please others – what a waste

    Comment by Sherri | September 17, 2008 | Reply

  3. I am one of those women. For me it did not start in childhood but when I lived post university in Japan, surrounded my a culture of people who say “sumimasen” or excuse me or sorry after practically every comment. I lived there for two years and it seemed that in became ingrained — why? Because I actually was disciplined by the company that hired me for not being humble enough — how did they know? I did not say I was sorry enough. Ah well, now years later perhaps I could drop it and I’m really trying . . . sorry!

    Comment by Kim Power Stilson | September 17, 2008 | Reply

  4. I say I am sorry because I am polite and choose to diffuse. I do not apologize for myself except when I am truly at fault. Sorry does not only mean apology. As a matter of fact, apology is only a small portion of the definition of sorry. I won’t bore you with all the meanings here. Look it up.

    Back to sorry…When I say I’m sorry you are upset, I am not apologizing, I am stating a fact. I am sorry that you are upset. Firstly, as an empathetic person, I really AM sorry you are upset. Upset is not a good place to be. Happy is a good place to be. Mellow is a good place to be. Upset, not so good. I feel your suffering in your upset place and am sorry FOR YOU. Secondly, when you are upset it colors the atmosphere around you and I happen to be in that atmosphere of your upset. Consequently, I am affected by your upset in an existential way.
    I will continue to say I am sorry. The world is a place full of hurt and I am very sorry for those who suffer, even if it is at the hands of their own twisted psychs.

    I think the woman’s sorry you speak of is part of who we are, empathetic, nurturing, caring. These are generally not traits associated with men.

    I’m sorry if you have had difficulties in the past with understanding the nature of the female sorry. I am sorry for you because it caused you to view women as other than they actually were. What you apparently perceive as weakness is actually giving, loving and caring.

    I hope I have helped you see our sorry for what it is, a selfless (sometimes) verbal pat on the back.

    Comment by Sue | September 29, 2008 | Reply

  5. Thank you, Sue. Very enlightening to one who is still learning. Proof alone that gender is intrinsic and not learned.

    God Bless,


    Comment by revromansky | October 4, 2008 | Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: